Chloe! This child keeps me running at least 16 hours a day! She is energetic, happy, strong willed and too cute for words. Her best friends are Pumpkin (our cat), Shelby, Piper and Julia. She is really hanging in there with the new baby situation. She still sees Hazel as a toy and asks to "Hold it" about 72 times a day. Chloe has a very loving nature and is quite sweet with Hazel.
Chloe came to our family in a most miraculous manner.
We had the great honor of adopting her in 2005 and it is quite a story.
In March of 2005 a friend of ours called and asked us if we were interested in adopting a child. She knew we had been trying for several years to have another child and thought of us when the situation presented itself to her. I talked to Lowell about it and we were both terrified of the risk and the cost but after much thought and prayer we knew that we were supposed to pursue the possibility.
The same day that we decided to go ahead with it I got to meet the birth mom and go with her to her first OB appointment. She didn't know how far along she was or the gender of the baby-in fact she hadn't been to the doctor yet at all. As it turned out she was 7 months a long and for the 3rd time we heard the now infamous words: "It's a girl!"
That night Lowell and I went over to meet the birthparents and see if we could come to some agreement about how we might help them get thru the birth and getting back on their feet. Going with a private adoption is a little trickier than going with an agency and one of the reasons is that the laws on how and how much you can help the birth mother is limited and yet a little vague. Our birth parents had a number of things that they were struggling with: legal problems, substance abuse, debt, homelessness, health problems and the list goes on. They were not married although Chloe was their 3rd child together and the 6th child for the birth mother. Their 2 other children were 3 and 2 and they were not functioning as a healthy family or healthy individuals. Neither were employed or willing to do the paperwork to collect any unemployment, SS or other state assistance so they were really destitute. We decided that we would help them with rent, getting a very low cost vehicle and some medical bills and they were happy with that arrangement.
The price that you pay for doing a private adoption is all worth it when you get to do things like meet your future child's birth siblings and grandparents, go to all the doctor appointments and be present at the birth. The 'price' is that there is very little buffer between you and the birth parents and there are so many fragile feelings on both sides that you are walking a fine line all the time. We had such a sense of their suffering and grew to really care for them--I was overwhelmed with the desire to fix their situation and help them be a stronger family. After several run-ins with the police, bailing them out of jail and attending a court appearance it was clear to us that "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink". You really can't help someone that won't help themselves and sadly that was the realization we came to--it was heartbreaking.
Because we knew that Chloe' birth mom had had a substance abuse problem we also knew that there was a possibility of her being born with problems, defects or addictions of her own. We decided at the outset that if we pursued the adoption we wanted her to be part of our family regardless of any problems that she might have due to defects or drug use. At the time this seemed like a natural way to approach the situation, we were either 100% in or 100% out. We didn't want to wait and see what she was like before we made our decision about the adoption. Looking back I can see that this is another experience that prepared us for Hazel's situation.
Chloe's due date was at the end of May but we lucked out when we got a phone call at 3am on May 10th telling us that our birth mom's water had broken and they needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. I drove out to get them and got to the hospital as quickly as I could and at 8 30 am little Chloe Jane was born! Lowell and I were there along with her birth father and birth grandma. It is one of our most cherished memories-bitter sweet because it was so hard on her birth family to let her go. She had 5 people there to welcome her to the world that love her so much.
3 days after she was born we went with Amy to the court house and she signed the papers. It was a hard day for her and a relief for us. We took Chloe home from the hospital and it has been wonderful ever since. We were sealed to her in November of 2005, it was a very special day for us. Piper and Julia were in the temple with us and that was a very wonderful experience for us as parents. Chloe was sent to us through the miracle of adoption and we thank heaven that we got to have this wonderful experience and add beautiful daughter to our family.
5 comments:
So beautiful and touching to hear you share this memory. I will never forget the strong feeling I had that you were meant to be parents of this baby!
Reliving this experience through your blog has made me realize once again who you really are, my sweet daughter. Remembering that few weeks when Chloe joined our family has reminded me of how well our Heavenly Father knows you and your potential. Chloe really was meant to be yours and Lowell's little daughter from the very beginning. I will never forget that time we spent together in the hospital with her, the nursing, the wonder of it all for Piper & Julia, the terrifying visit to the court you made with Amy, the feelings of what a "rescue" you had made for this beautiful, tiny, girl. I remember the bonding with this little one was immediate for me and for Dad. We have adored her from the first moment. This divine intervention in her life and ours never ceases to make me smile! The tender mercies you showed to her birth family during the time before Chloe was born and after has been another peak for your Dad and me into your divine nature and ability to give. Waht a wonderful and loving act on the part of her birth parents. Can any child be more loved than the one who has two sets of parents that love so unconditionally? Being in the temple with you all on the day of her sealing to our family was one of the top ten days in my life and Dad's. God has been so good to us all! Can we ever forget those three little girls, in those little white dresses, now sisters forever? Not ever!
Jen, I love how I have to read your entire blog daily as you keep adding new stuff. This picture of your "Little Women" is adorable and only another mom can appreciate how many shots you had to take to get this photo. How funny that Chloe insisted she be the one to hold "Baby Halo." They all just fill my cup to overflowing. Love you all so much!
Jen,
That is SO awesome. I had NO idea that you had adopted. Christian and I have been trying for over 4 years, and have had no luck. We have been so prayerful and it has really been the toughest trial I have yet to have. Its funny how Heavenly Father prompts you, and puts others experiences at hand for you to learn from, because although Christian has been ready for a long time to adopt, your "story" has really kicked my heart into gear for adoption. You are amazing, and your babies are BEAUTIFUL!!!!
You seriously rock!! I love that you love my blog...feel free to stalk me often as you should know I will do the same! lol!! We are in the beginning stages of the adoption process, so I am so glad to know that I have you to come to for advice!! You are amazing, and I am so glad that I am back in touch with you!! Marianne and Krissy both have blogs too, so feel free to check them out, they would love it!
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