Am I totally delusional? Expecting too much? Out of touch with reality? I hope not but I feel like all I can do now is backpedal as fast as humanly possible and PRAY!
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Girls and FooD!!
I was kind of surprised by the comments that I got on the last post I did regarding Piper and her body crisis. All the comments were of the opinion that I should talk to the teacher, which I don't disagree with but (and it's a big but)...I feel that the issue really lies with Piper. The bottom line is that I can't 'protect' her from all the rude comments, stupid teachers, narrow minded people and media brainwashing that goes on. All I can do is give her the tools to deal with it--I just don't know what they are. One thing I am sure of though is that 8 years old is almost too late to start talking about it. I should have started this conversation about body, good food choices and health when she was 2. In reality, I don't want her to feel bad at all about being tall and big. We're a tall, big family. That's what gets me riled, I just get so tired of feeling like I have to apologize for myself. I don't want her to feel that way. In saying that, I do realize that this is almost as impossible as protecting her from the lameness mentioned above. I want her to be able to handle it when someone says or does something that is less than complimentary or kind.
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4 comments:
I still feel the teacher should be made aware. I also agree that good food choices should be discussed with children with an emphasis on health not necessarily weight, especially when they are young. I also think it is our duty as parents to purchase and plan meals that are well-balanced and nutritional sound for our families and ourselves. I think it has a lot to do with healthy snacks especially. You are very good at all these things! However, that being said, there is nothing you can do about your genetic make-up and this is something you need to learn to accept, realizing that Heavenly Father loves you and you should also love yourself. If children feel loved and capable I think they will overcome most feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. It is all about balance and realizing that what others say and do is often what leads to negative self-talk that can destroy a person's self-esteem. Often times the guilty person has no clue (like the teacher) that they are harming others. If we had any idea of the impact of what we say to others we would talk a lot less and think a lot more first. As an example...when I was in grade school on Valentine's Day this girl gave me one of those five cent Valentines with a big elephant on it and wrote, this reminds me of you! OK, I am 60 now and I still remember that! I do not remember any other Valentine I have ever gotten...so you see my point.
The way I see it, Jen, you are doing an excellent job in all areas of your mothering. Piper has all the love imaginable and I know you will be inspired though your prayers to know what to say and do. I do also believe that the father is key to making their daughters feel feminine and beautiful. I do not believe that your efforts are too late for Piper.It is never too late to help someone feel loved and accepted just the way they are. I am sorry that I do not get the blog thing yet and that a line or two is sufficient. Just had to share these thoughts. Love, Mom
The bottom line is Piper is beautiful and shouldn't worry about that weight number!!! Easier said than done though!!! You do a great job--even God thinks so----he sent you four girls. So, you must be doing something right!!!!
AMEN SISTAS, but you are right, just love and support her, we all know how cruel the world can be, I'm right there with remembering what a boy said to me in 6th grade "you're really pretty from far away, but when you get real close up you are not very pretty." Pretty sure that's when I got real anxious about my looks, but I never brought it up to my mom afraid that she would freak out and make a big deal of it, ask for phone #s or something and embarass me more. It's good that Piper trusts you and is willing to share those feelings with you, I still have a hard time opening up to my mom, so you and your mom must be doing somthing right, i need to learn more from you guys!
Wow, this is huge. I think you are right on though, Jen. We can't change the way the world views women- all we can do is insulate ourselves from it. I think the best insulation is a true understanding and testimony of who we are as daughters of God and what he expects from us in terms of our physical bodies. Second to that, is the love of great parents and friends. Your girls are so blessed to have both!
I wish I had something really wise to share but I don't- I am certianly not an expert on the matter. Maintaining a proper body image has been a challenge for me my entire life. Just know what we are praying for and cheering for you and for Piper.
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