How could I??

How could I have forgotten to add Craftastrophe to my funny blog post?!

Craftastrophe gives us a look at craft items that should never, ever have been allowed out into the world. They should have been hidden from view, but this fine blog brings them out into the open to be mocked publicly. My favorite:
That's right ladies and gentlemen...this is a 'craft'. What do you think it is used as?

1. a paper weight
2. a refrigerator magnet
3. a brooch
4. an Easter tree ornament

You'll have to click over and find out for yourself!

Mucho Humor

Sometimes people think I'm funny but I rarely come up with anything funny on my own. It's usually a skewed rip off of something I've seen, heard or experienced that I've stored away in my head, waiting for just the right moment to whip it out. Here's some of my favorite funny stuff:

Awkward Family Photos: This site has all kinds of awkward family pictures and stories. Some of the pictures are really just funny and will make you laugh out loud. This is one of my favorites and is genuinely awkward. It's titled: 'They Complete Us'. Sooooooo awkward! I love it! (thanks Vanessa C. for introducing me to this one)

Engrish: Before I even begin let me say that I have the utmost respect for anyone that even attempts to learn English. I have no desire or inclination to try and learn any Asian language and I know I'd stink at it so I like this one more as a testament to how hard it is to learn to speak English than anything else. Engrish.com features signage and packaging found in Asian countries that have been tragically translated into English. Good fun. (I got this one from Lowell)


There, I Fixed it! This site features some amazing hacks for temporary fixes on all kinds of things. This site reminds me of my dad--lots of hacks using duct tape. (Thanks Jen from CW)


Stuff White People Like This guy has us pegged. By "us" I mean me and many of my fellow white companions. It's very 'so-true-you-have-to-laugh-at-yourself-or-you'll-seem-like-an-uptight-a**' kind of a site. But it really is genuinely funny. His current post is on camping and we are guilty of nearly every offense he mentions. Good times. (I can't remember where I found this one)
If you are still reading and you haven't subscribed to Cake Wrecks...shame on you. It's a daily dose of humor--you know you need it.

More Quotes

We were eating ice cream, 'natural vanilla bean' so it had little black specks of vanilla bean in it. Chloe asked what kind of ice cream it was and when I told her she said, "No, it's not!  It's salt and pepper ice cream"  So now she asks or it by name.

Chloe asked me to come in and put a DVD in for her.  She usually does this by herself so I was encouraging her to just go do it but she told me that the TV/DVD combo wouldn't stick it's tongue (the DVD tray) out and so she couldn't.

Lowell and I are going away next weekend and we've been looking for a hotel room.  All we could find were rooms with double queens.  I kept complaining about it and when Lowell asked why I said because sleeping with him on a queen is like sleeping on a cracker.  He cracked up. It's true thought.

Funny Kid Stuff

The other day Chloe was really campaigning hard to go to Mc Donald's for lunch.  We do go there from time to time but it is always in conjunction with a play date of some sort or just the moms needing to get together.  So I told her that it was really a place that was better with friends so she'd have someone to play with.  It was quiet for a while and then she said  "Mom, myself called and wants to play with me at Mc Donald's."

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One day when Lowell was shining his shoes Piper asked why men were so obsessed with polishing their shoes. This is funny in and of itself because I think this was the first time in our marriage that Lowell has ever shinned his shoes. To add the the hilarity she then asked if it was the same as how women are always obsessing about how big their butts are. (ppppfft.....WHAT@#$?!?!)

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A conversation with Lowell and Piper:

Piper:  Dad when can we go sledding?

Lowell: Well, I have to shovel the driveway first.

Piper: Good, it builds character.

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I seriously don't know where they come up with this stuff.

Stay out of the Doghouse

Christmas on Mars

*I'm not sure where this is from or who drew it. If you know please contact me so I can credit it here. ANYway, this totally cracked me up!

Tacky Christmas Yards

I have to admit that I have sort of a secret-kitschy-love-affair with tacky stuff.  I can't help it. Anyway....another favorite blog of mine is Tacky Christmas Yards.  It's funny and the blog owner is a crack up with the comments and 'violations' that she hands out. Again-check it out for some goooood holiday fun.

The photo above is one tacky item that I saw here in Utah this year.  It's an 8 foot tall inflatable deer hunter snowman.  Complete with orange hat, cami vest and rifle. Let's look closely and note that these are not props--they're inflatable too, as in the snowman came from the manufacturer dressed as a hunter.  Hmmmm...watch out Rudolph.

Cake Wrecks

Soooo..... I have a new favorite funny blog that I found thru my friend  Marilyn.  It's called Cake Wrecks and it is really funny.  It is pretty self explanatory but it's is basically just photos of horrible (horrible!) cakes made by professionals.  Some of the wedding cakes actually make me want to weep.  Here is an example of one of the Christmas Wrecks complete with the blog authors comment:

(Here's) "Snappy, the stitched-together Yuletide monster: 

He's made of sugar and spice and will mess your a$$ UP..."

Seriously, so funny--check it...it's good holiday fun.

Jennifer Stewart

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 1,894 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

The 8th Ward Film Festival

For the past few years our ward has held a film festival.  Lowell usually "gets" to edit and compile the final clips and it's actually a lot of fun.  We were wondering what we should submit this year when Lowell came across about 2 hours of unedited video that our kids had taken of themselves with an application we have on the computer called Photo Booth.  It's a little app that lets the web cam take video with different effects and filters and stuff and it's pretty fun. The kids play with it all the time but we never knew what they were recording.  So Lowell slogged thru all the clips (they ranged from 30 seconds to 2 minutes each) and took the funniest bits and stuck them together in a little movie.  He added subtitles on a few that were hard to understand but that is all the editing he did. All the effects, subject matter and 'acting' are 100% our kids in their natural state...unsupervised.  It starts out a little slow but stick with it...it's worth the laugh!

(They won "Best Over All" video at the Film Festival out of 18 entries.)

One Last Halloween Funny For '08.....

q

Blog Flashback: My Very First Post

Julia and the Teeny-Tiny Toilet

"This toilet is in a tiny little bathroom connected to the nursery room at our new church.  If you can't tell in the photo, the toilet just comes up to her mid calf.  It is seriously *so* cute. Why didn't anyone think of this sooner?"

I started my blog on Halloween last year and so I thought I'd re-post my first one as a Happy-Blogiversary-to-me!  It's funny because I've seen these little toilets crop up everywhere in the last year.  They are seriously genius!

One Word Tag

1. Where is your cell phone? bra
2. Where is your significant other? dishes
3. Your hair color? brown
4. Your mother? designer
5. Your father? engineer
6. Your favorite thing? daughters
7. Your dream last night? sexy
8. Your dream/goal? peace
9. The room you're in? perfect

10. Your hobby? napping
11. Your fear? loss
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? classroom
13. Where were you last night? scrabble
14. What you're not? republican
15. One of your wish-list items? iphone
16. Where you grew up? California
17. The last thing you did? facebook
18. What are you wearing? jammies
19. Your TV? large
20. Your pet? ALIVE
21. Your computer? apple
22. Your mood? relieved
23. Missing someone? yes
24. Your car? dented
25. Something you're not wearing? socks
26. Favorite store? etsy
27. Your summer? medical
28. Love someone? many
29. Your favorite color? black
30. When is the last time you laughed? nine
31. Last time you cried? nine

32. Who do you tag? Rae

The only rule is that you can only use one 

word to answer each question.  Have fun!

My Favorite Comic

McCain for President?? Really?

I asked Chloe (she's 3) which of these guys was sick--she picked McCain.  I asked her which one was the President--she picked Obama!  Love it and this pic...too funny!

*Another* Funny...I know, I'll stop

I know I keep posting stuff from other blogs but I have to tell you that this is so funny/cute/hilarious! Funny, Funny Ellen. Now watch her sing!

A Funny For Ya...

I got this from my friend Kim...thought it was pretty funny and true!

Life Really Boils Down to 2 questions:

Should I get a dog?

AND...Should I have kids?

Did You Know?

Did you know that my mom writes for blissfullydomestic.com?  She is a great writer and a talented designer; a perfect combo for such a site.

I found a fabulous post on 'cleaning' on the same site.  It is a fantastic post because it is funny and really does have some good tips for a quick pick up.  Find out how to pretend clean  your house for unexpected visitors.

I apply the same principals from this post to myself in the morning at the hospital when I have to wake up and talk to doctors.  So here it is:

How to smell like you're clean and fresh when you've been cooped up in a hospital room and sweating for 19 hours.

1.  Wash off all of your make up and I mean all!  No leaving a little mascara under the eye and hoping it looks like smoky eyeliner.  After a night on a plastic chair it just looks like you're 10 years older and you have bags under your eyes.  Get it all off!

2.  Put on your eye cream and moisturizer.  It helps for some reason, I don't know why.

3.  Brush your teeth or in a pinch chew gum or eat about 6 mints.  One won't do it, trust me.

4.  Baby wipes are your friend.  Use them to clean all the spots on your tired old bod that need cleaning.  Apply lots of deodorant and a spritz of perfume if you have it.  Scented lotion will also do in a pinch.

5.  If your shirt is less than presentable turn it inside out.  Seams are better than stains/spills right?

6.  Hair...this is a tough one since everyone has different hair but if you have a 'no-shower-morning' hair do then go for that.  If you are like me and your hair only lasts one day at best then go for the ponytail or at least brush it out and tuck it behind the ears.  A spritz of perfume in the hair never hurt anyone either.

This should buy you a few hours while you wait for the doctors and until you can get to a shower and a hair dryer!

SNL Spoof-Hilarious!

If you missed SNL this week you missed a great spoof.  The Clinton/Palin opener is fabulous. See it here.

Seriously, So Cheesy!

I found this funny little quiz on one of my favorite spoof blogs: Seriously, So Blessed!  It's a quiz to find out which Disney Princess you are most like.  Cheesy?  You bet!  But I'm in serious need of some cheese.  I am supposedly Pochontas (?) which is funny because I never saw it on principal:  they changed to story!  Hello!?  Anyway...kinda fun. Let me know who you are most like!

You Are Pochontas!

Free-spirited and wise. You have a strong passionate spirit that touches and changes all who know you. The wisdom and common sense that you have is really what guides you through life. Even so, you also have a very playful side that loves adventure and excitement.

click here to take the quiz:

Which Disney Princess Are You?